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Sex addiction

Sex Addiction: "It is very harmful and destroys your life."

Sex addiction tryexploreplus.com jpg 800x452
Sex addiction tryexploreplus.com jpg 800x452

What is sex addiction?

Compulsive sexual behavior is also called hypersexuality disorder or sexual addiction. It consists of a deep concentration on sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors that are uncontrollable.

Sex addiction, as it is also known, “is based on a psychophysiological activation that leads to a dependency on everything related to sex, increasing its frequency until it leads to negative consequences for the normal development of day-to-day life since sex becomes the center of everything in their lives leaving everything else aside.

For this reason, addiction to sex “can be compared to other addictions such as those addicted to drugs, gambling or alcohol, where they are never satisfied and tend to lose control. Therefore, the focus of sexual addiction is focuses more on reducing emotional discomfort than on the search for pleasure itself.

If this happens, we could be talking about a sex addiction, a chronic disease that requires specific treatment. The World Health Organization estimates the percentage of people addicted to sex worldwide at 5%.

We can also define it as “a pathology that has to do with the way some people relate to sex and is characterized by obsessive thoughts and irrepressible behaviors.”

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Sex addiction, a health problem.

Relate, a well-known UK support organization for people with relationship problems, defines sexual addiction as “any sexual activity that a person feels is ‘out of their control’.

For a long time it was debated whether it was an addiction problem and now it is accepted as such.

Therapists explain that addicts realize that they are causing harm with their behavior, but are unable to change.

Some countries do not consider sex addiction a public health problem and therefore do not receive help from government programs. However, these same agencies acknowledge that sex addiction is a growing problem.

In some of the countries that have programs for sex addicts, they say the number of sex therapists they have has doubled in the last five years, and the number of addicts visiting the centers has quadrupled in the last decade.

On the other hand, according to a survey of more than 20,000 Britons through the support website Sex Addiction Help, 91% of those who asked for help since were men.

1% were under 16 years of age and 8% over 55, but the most common demographic profile, 31%, is between 26 and 35 years of age. And these statistics are without similar in other regions of the world.

Stories of Sex Addicts

Julia's story: “having sex 5 times a day was not enough”

Julia’s addiction caused serious problems in her relationship. Now, four years after the worst moment, she is recovered.

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“At the worst of times, even having sex five times a day wasn’t enough,” admits Julia, a British mother of three.

Her compulsive behavior appeared after having her third child and she says that she lost control of her life due to a sex addiction that ended up ruining her relationship with her partner.

Julia says that she constantly proposed to her partner to have sex.

“It was literally the first thing on my mind when I woke up. I couldn’t get it out of my head,” the 35-year-old told him.

The root of addiction problems

“I felt that everything made me think about that. I think it was linked to my depression and lack of serotonin. I felt that the whole body was asking me for it”.

Julia said that her addiction to sex ruined her relationship with her partner.

She “would give me an instant high and five minutes later I’d want it again.”

“I became a hermit, I stayed at home because I was ashamed that I could only think about that. Even if no one could read my mind, I felt very uncomfortable being around people,” she admits.

Julia’s addiction caused serious problems in her relationship. Although her partner liked the attention at first, over time it became an impossible situation for the couple.

“At first he didn’t care, but towards the end he couldn’t understand it at all. After several months she began to wonder why it was happening and what caused it”.

“He accused me of having another relationship. He thought it must make me feel guilty and that’s why I wanted sex with him all the time.”

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Woman with depression due to addictions tryexploreplus.com jpg 800x452

Running from my problem

She felt that she needed “a break” from that relationship and went to live with her mother.

“When I left I told my partner that I needed to get well. He let me go and the relationship broke up very shortly after.”

“At that time I was treating myself with a psychiatrist. She told me that she was going to change my medication, but she never told me that there were support groups or anything like that.

After the birth of her third child, Julia was diagnosed with depression.

Julia changed jobs, separated from her partner, and moved to another country in an attempt to control her addiction.

Later, depression and sex addiction coincided. When everything escalated, Julia changed jobs, separated from her partner and moved to another country.

“I made a lot of lifestyle changes to try to overcome depression and addiction, and it worked for me.”

Paul's story: "Mine was an addiction that I had to feed daily"

Paul said his compulsive behavior led him to cheat on his wife with “hundreds” of prostitutes, something that left him feeling “heartbreaking guilt”

Paul said that when his wife found out, he was relieved.

“When you’re in the worst of addiction you’re obsessed with that thought, from the time you wake up to the time you go to bed.”

“It was a horrible and disgusting experience, there is nothing sexy about it. When you wake up in the morning with a good dose of chlamydia (a sexually transmitted disease), it’s not sexy,” the 50-year-old told him.

“It is very harmful and destroys your life.”

Paul estimates that for several years he paid hundreds of dollars a month for sex and that he developed relationships with some of the prostitutes he frequented.

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Image of man for depression for sex addiction tryexploreplus.com jpg 800x452

La escala de la adicción al sexo

“Lo que empezó como una aventura en el trabajo llevó a otra, pero no era como la mayoría de los líos amorosos en el trabajo, que pueden nacer del descontento matrimonial de una persona, la mía era una adicción que tenía que alimentar a diario”, admite.

“Pronto me di cuenta de que la manera más rápida y práctica de alimentar esa adicción era pagando. Usaba escorts y prostitutas tres o cuatro veces a la semana”.

“Es lo mismo que ser alcohólico, es un círculo vicioso que crece en tu mente. Te da un subidón pensar cómo va a pasar algo y después vas y lo haces como planeaste. Luego cuando se acaba sientes remordimientos y dices que no lo vas a volver a hacer nunca más”.

There is a way out, for those who suffer from sex addiction.

Paul stopped leading this “terrible double life” when his wife found an email and confronted him.

“For people who are in this situation, I want them to know that there is a way out and that this cycle can be broken,” says Paul.

“When they discovered me I remember thinking ‘Thank God, maybe something can change’.”

It was then that he asked for help from the organization Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA for its acronym in English or ASA Groups – Sex Addicts Anonymous), which has self-help groups in some countries.

“It’s a relief to go to meetings and see that there are other people who are just as sad and sordid as you are.”

The individual therapies and group rehabilitation programs that exist in various countries are almost always private. There are also many resources available on the internet.

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The problem is that it is difficult for an addict to recover alone.

“Addicts realize that their addiction is causing harm, but they can’t stop, and they recognize that they need help to make a change.”

According to specialists for drug or alcohol addicts, such help exists, and sex addicts need the same type of support.

Sex addiction “has the same disabling effect, on their relationships, on their families, on their financial situation, and on their state of mind.”

But there is hope: “for the people who are in this situation, I want them to know that there is a way out and that this circle can be broken.”

If you have read this article, and you are going through this addiction or know someone close to you who suffers from it, look for one of these centers and support groups for people addicted to sex, or contact these groups on their websites, where you can receive support.

Aquí les compartimos una pagina con reuniones en línea en español: https://slaaspain.org/reuniones

Here we share a page with online meetings in English in London:

Home

 

Here we share a page with online meetings in English in Los Angeles:

https://www.slaalosangeles.org/virtual-meetings

Here we share a page with online meetings in English in Dallas:

Meetings

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